by Tari Faris, @FarisTari
My husband and I agree that the hardest part of our relationship since we started dating eighteen years ago was our engagement. What? The engagement? But that is supposed to be fun. Right. Well, it wasn’t.
He was in Illinois working with a summer youth program that kept him busy from about six in the morning until ten at night. I was living in Indiana as a nanny trying to plan a wedding that was happening in Michigan. And since our engagement was only 4 months, all preparation was on double time. And he was so exhausted he didn’t care about any details of the wedding. And I hate making decisions.
It was a great combination.
I went to lunch with a girl I had met that summer and as we ate she got a dreamy look in her eye and she said, “Aren’t you just so excited to get married.”
I looked back and said, “No. Not really.”
Her face. If it hadn’t been so sad, it would have been funny. It was as if I told her love was a lie.
I rushed on to say. “But I am okay with that. I was super excited when he asked me. And I know that even though I don’t feel all of the gushy lovey feelings right now in the midst of stress, I did feel them and will feel them again. And I am okay that I feel this way because someday down the road I may feel like this again but I will know then just as I know now this is the best decision of my life.”
And it was the best decision I ever made and I have no regrets. And so far I have never felt more “out of love” then I did that day but if it comes I know I am committed.
you see, I had to look at my WHY. Why was I getting married? Was it for fun feelings? NO, I was getting married because Scott was everything I wanted in a husband and I could feel God’s blessing on it. Do I feel in love most times? YES. But it isn’t my WHY. Because I didn’t feel it that way that day and I may not feel it again someday. But no matter how I feel, my WHY won’t change.
So, you may be thinking – what a strange thing for a romance writer to talk about. But let me tell you I may have never fallen out of love with my husband I did fall out of love with writing.
What?!? How is that possible?
In August 2019, I was struggling to get Until I Met You finished and turned into my editor. And by the time I turned it over to her I was sure I had made a mistake in this career. I hated it. It was hard and exhausting. And had I not had a contract to finish and people I feard disappointing I might have just walked away. IT took EVERYTHING out of me. But even when it was super hard, I had that assurance that I wanted this for soooooo long. It couldn’t have been a mistake.
I found my self looking at my WHY. Why had I chosen to become an author? Because of the leading of God. Because I had a story that needed to come out. Had any of that changed when the feelings faded for a while? No. My WHY stayed the same.
So, I worked with my editor and prayed and worked and prayed on that story. And now it comes out in just four days. And to see how that book took shape is still a miracle to me. I just love that book!!
Was it easy? NO. But could I see my WHY as the book took shape more clearly? ABSOLUTELY!
Three days ago, I turned in the last book of the series. But this time, although still exhausting, I felt confident and loved the process. Because instead of focusing on the emotions as the year went on and I struggled to get the words on the page, I focused on the WHY. It hadn’t changed, even in the midst of the pandemic.
What about you? What is your WHY?
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Until I Met You
(Now available for preorder)
I invite you back to the small town with a big heart in this second book in the Restoring Heritage series.
When she hears that the small town of Heritage, Michigan, is looking for a new librarian, Libby Kingsley jumps at the opportunity. Little did she know the library is barely more than a storage closet stuffed with dusty, outdated books. What the community really needs is a new building. But the only funds available are those being channeled into the new town square, and the landscape architect in charge of the project wants nothing to do with her plans.
All Austin Williams wants to do is get the town square project finished so he can do right by the family business and then extricate himself from the town that reveres the brother who cost him so much. But the local media and the town’s new librarian seem to be conspiring against him at every turn. Will the determined bookworm find her way into his blueprints–and possibly even his heart?
Tari Faris has been writing fiction for thirteen years but has been creating fiction in her head as long as she can remember. She signed with Revell for her debut novel – You Belong with Me – which will be released in September 2019. She is represented by Wendy Lawton at Books & Such Literary Management and is a member of ACFW and My Book Therapy. She was the 2017 Genesis winner, 2016 Genesis finalist, and 2014 Genesis finalist. In addition to her writing, she also works for My Book Therapy as a special project manager and blog coordinator for LearnHowToWriteANovel.com . When she is not writing or working, she spends time with her amazing husband and kids. In her free time, she loves coffee, rockhounding with her husband and kids, and distracting herself from housework. You can connect with her at www.tarifaris.com